Okie, here's some update...
I've been thinking about weird things lately, about things long gone and forgotten by the other party. And some times, i look back and think," what an idiot i was"

When things are said and exchanged by words, it cannot be taken back even though an apologetic message may be uttered after the exchange, it will still be there... Etched into the other party's memories. That why regret saying somethings and not saying things that i should have said.

Wronged friends, broken relationships always arises from an exchange of words or perhaps an action by oneself. Hence i'll aim to be more careful and thoughtful in speaking my mind. Life's not as simple that way, thoughtful and careful planning would be needed for things to go right. Politics and the ways to answer would come to play a major part in life-to-be.

I lost several friends due to my rashness and carelessness, stupidity and regret fills me up bit by bit when i think of how well would those relationships go and how it may blossom to become a a true blue friendship. Words are dangerous, Words spark wars, kill lives of the innocent just because someone muttered to somebody something that was meant to be kept as a secret.

When things happens and does not go right, you have to handle it just as you would rejoice when it does go right. Take it up and deal with it, and hopefully it may all go right after awhile. As a crude saying puts it, " Suck it up and deal with it."
That would probably be one of my life mottos, not just that its crude and easy to remember but also because my life to be is going to be filled with scenarios like that. Hence i take that up as my motto, and live by it.

Unfortunately, not everything may be dealt with be you. For example, my parents... They cant be solved and dealt by me, can they? So this is a good example on how this motto may fail at times, but at least i have a vision and a motto.
Before i enter school, i want to run and keep fit. To at least look less fat and more healthy.

My relationship with my parents is just going to worsen, I'd pray for a cure but that may just be as good as getting a cure for AIDS. So no point trying to remedy it. At the age of 21, i'm going to move out and stay alone. Anywheres better than here, be it the streets or some rented 1 room apartment which is infested with bugs. The horror of staying in this house for 1 more day is deadening.

Thanks for looking at my rants,
KaiKein

Its all over the place. We depend and we work for it. Cold hard Cash, the tool for survival. And yet because of this we have lost meaning to life. Motivational speakers claim to be speaking for the greater good of you but guess what? You paid them!
There are people out there that say that they want you to lead a good and meaningful life. Hence they give you guidance and assurance, after which they ask for money for the speech and "training" that they gave you.

Then again there are people, who in spite of cost and expenses, go the extra mile to inspire and impact lives of people for the good of them. They do their best in everything they do as they do it for the Lord and not for men. Thats my motto and thats why my parent are so angry with me. Well, they say that... I'm young and don't see cost and expenses behind all the help i've rendered to my organisation. And that all I do now maybe correct in my eyes but is seen as a BIG mistake in their eyes.

I'm like one of those foolish people. Who give whatever they do, everything and to do the best of their abilities be it lousy or good. Then my father is resentful about my entering of a polytechnic, and one of the biggest issue is money. Every time he sees me he'll, one way or another remind me that the cost of going to a polytechnic is expensive. FINE! I'll take a scholarship i told myself. This time my mother steps in, "No son, don't worry about the expenses". Hah, my dad keeps blabbering about shirts and jeans that is going to incur a large cost. Look, even if i don't get into a poly, my JC uniform is going to cost much more than that.

I don't know... I worked before and I know how hard is it to earn that extra buck. But because i put in my all, and therefore i don't feel so tired after accomplishing something. And have the energy to keep on going, thats how i do it.

People also say that honesty is the best policy? I totally utterly disagree with it. Every time i tell the truth to my parents i'll get scoldings and lashings, every time i tell a lie, they'll be happy and contented. What's wrong with this world? Life has lost its meaning and honesty has become the world's greatest mistake a man can make. This is bullshit.

KaiKein