It is late at night either that or, very early in the morning. I sit here, thinking about my past mistakes and glory. But that's not the point is it?

 I met you, accidental of course, in school with breakfast in hand. Well, society wouldn't have called it a "meeting" because no words were exchanged between us. And no eyes were locked either. But it seems to me that you no longer care about me. Simply put it, you don't recognize my existence anymore.

 It hurts you know, to see you. Just the glance of your image invokes memories, fond fond memories. But after those memories fade away, am I reminded of my deeds of selfishness and recklessness. Yes, I know you don't hate me because it isn't in you to hate someone, and yet I got a cold chill that morning. My original intention was to cut off all forms of contact with you be it virtual or physical. And I did. But it failed to make me forget about you. Every night I sleep fitful sleeps, every night you surround my dreams, or rather nightmares.

 I'm scared Mylene, I'm scared. I fear the day you put on that white dress and the person to put that ring on you isn't me. I fear the very day where I have to watch you raise 2 lovely children when I'm not the father. I fear that one day, you'll forget me. I fear that I'll never have the chance to say 'I do.' to you. These feelings I have for you, it's easier said than done to burn them all. For without them I am just a shell.

Truthfully, my friends are failing me, now I do not know who to trust and who to shun. Right now I need someone to talk to and I remembered you and the times. We used to have long conversations while on your way home, on the phone. We laughed about things like how masculine male ballet dancers are and how you want me to try. We laughed at things like how you used to treat you ex and that you never really did get intimate and how that caused him to be your "ex". We spoke of things like your family and how your father is so strict with you. We spoke of your childhood times where you were so timid in Sunday school. We drank and we enjoyed together.

 You were my best partner, my treasure, the warmth in my heart, but I was foolish enough to cut you off and my heart turned cold. If given another chance, I would give my all to make you mine. And even if my all is not enough I will at the very least make sure you find the right guy for you. I will give everything to see you smile for the rest of your life because if you don't, then the world will lose it's warmest thing. Yes I fear that day you don the white gown, but I know that on that day, the world will be bright and the sun will shine upon you because you are my world.