Argh...dammit. Going back to school...I'm writing this post in the wee hours of the morning just before i put on my uniform and setting of. Getting tired...its been 8 years of education already and a long way since i was 7. Now i'm 15 and i'm still studying. I realised that we are going nowhere untill we are of legal age. For now its just school, bastards and bitchy teachers + homework.

KaiKein

This movie so resembles my life, except for the fact that i'm not a robot...
The desperate attempts that Wall-E makes to get Eve's attention, makes me laugh, for it resembles me.

I'm not sure about me, i feel like i don't know myself yet, and in my perspective, everyone is changing...
I've only know a few things though...
I've not changed on my friends policy- I treasure my friends more than material gains.
and the saddest thing of all is- will they return the favour and treasure me?
No, i've got people saying sorry for what they have done wrong and 1 week later...it goes back to what it used to be. No, humans cant be trusted when they say sorry.
We don't know what that word means, we so often take it for granted that when you apologise, you will be forgiven. No, that word has a much more powerful meaning to me.
It means that you will not do it agian on purpose or will try to avoid it and it is a promise you make to the offended! Not some...say-and-forget sort of thing. It symbolises a sign of defeat or truce. And the worse thing of all, When they offend you agian, they say the word agian and agian and agian, and i'm stuck on weather to forgive them? These are the very people for my last post about friends...they kick you when u're down on the ground. They laugh in your face just because you did badly. Oh but when they are in need, i offer my help and the take it, after that they forget it. What would you do?
My dearest of friends betrayed me, backstabbed and shaft his stinking remarks into my face.
My dearest of friends insulted me, critised me for what i did not do framed me for whatever reasons.
My most trusted friend turned his back on me when i needed him.
This is my life, and it breaks my heart just to reflect on it. Its tiring to hate a enemy...what more if you hate your friend?

Lonely and broken,
Stabbed and betrayed,
open and vulnerable,
cursed and down,
desperate and in need,
KaiKein

Today as i got into tuition class, i saw her.
Every now and then, i'll remind myself that i ought to at least try to get her handphone number or at the very least, her msn contact.
Then the lesson started, and i find myself looking at her, from across the room, everytime i'm not writing, which is pretty often. I admire her soft hair, her very beautiful side profile, her high cheek bones, her hollowed cheeks, pale and soft. And now and then, she would look up and look around and when she does that, i would look back at my task at hand. Afraid to be noticed. And often i'm too slow and got noticed, my cheeks would burn when our gazes meet. If so happens that she asked a question, i would hear it carefully for she rarely speaks and her voice is as sweet as honey, soft and delicate, light as a feather and yet as clear as a crystal. They way she stood, sat, walked, makes me feel like a rough and barbaric caveman. And yet shes cheerful and happy. For 3 months i noticed her. And never did i once had the courage to go up to her. At that present time, whenever she smiled, it would be etched into my memory.
So 1 day, i decided to go up to her. My plan was to catch her after class for she left the classroom last. However i was determined to ask, my mouth and tongue would stop me. I walked pass her and my heart jumped to my throat, every single time. 1 day i whispered her name softly as i walked pass her, she responded and i was going to die of a heart attack. I said that i was trying to start remembering everyone's name and bade her farewell. As i walked on, i cursed my petite courage and spat on the fact that i stumbled and would most probably sound stupid and lame. I cannot start to describe the feeling everytime i see her. It would be almost like heaven except for the gravity... Everytime i see her, my head would fill with this soft buzzing sound that is both pleasing and irritating at the same time, but i don't mind.I would taste honey on my tongue and feel like floating away if nothing was there to hold me down. Due to my inadequate english command, i would be unable to describe my thoughts, emotions and feeling across properly.
My hope is to contact her and maybe watch a few movies with her.



KaiKein, deprived.

Well...say if Your friend started to humiliate you and insult you...for the fun of it.
Will you get tired of it? Yes..No? i dont care...but if u were as tolerant as me to withstand that rampaging insult for near 6 months...will u get pissed of?
He plays practical jokes, and says its not his fault. What will you call that?
He goes around spreading rumors and trying to destroy ur privacy...What would you do?
Worse of all, copied my work, my effort and claims the credit? I let him copy coz hes my friend! And he steals my work and gets away with it.
He goes around insulting my crush, my name, my works and then say sorry. Next moment hes doing it agian.
He calls me a despo, just because i added his friend and so happens to be a girl! i mean...That girl looks like my previous neighbour so i though she might be but it turned out the other way round.
He laughs at your face when u are down and asks for help when he dosent understand concepts, And as a friend i helped him.
Withstood him for near 6 months. And best, i knew him for close to 3 years.
What kind of friend do you call that?

Well...got through the first week of sch just fine...just felt bit tired and getting used to it.
I got the company seargent major role for the BB...but thats not i wanted -.-
so, anyways i'm still gonna do it. 我不下地狱谁下地狱？
I planned the first parade and my Deputy ran it...
So came the crushing defeat of my band in the compititon...i did'nt know how we lost?! and i still cant stomach it.
i dun want to say much bout my position neither will i boast bout it.
met a new friend named violet, shes in my link. If you knew her, i dont think u will be able to walk comfortably out with her on the streets. However, i've had friends like that in my life before. And for goodness sake shes only like that because of high expectations from her parents.
I symphatise for her and i'll pray that she turn a new leaf.

If u ever by chance come and visit my blog violet, Please, take heed of jia hou's and my advise.
We both led lifes intresting and hard. We know how you feel or what u will do if in this situation or that. Life, death and luck are all minor but impacting parts of our lives. Yes i wont deny we nvr had the misfortune to go to where you've been and neither of us have been in your situation. But we think for our good and our future.

Take criticism with a open mind and improve so that you wont be critised anymore.


Warmest regards
Kai Kein

Wow...i just came back from a gruesome 5D4N camp in pulau ubin.
blardy hell, the 1st day i went there i wazs like...wth am i doing here?
And then on the last day i was like...wth am i going to do when i reach home?!
Here's the details......

Day 1: Ice breakers and stuff like that. got a cool instructor Hai-ri. Then we did some climbing and stuff....

Day 2: More climbing and by this time i was getting to get to know some people. The meals were terrible as we cooked ourself and did not as well as expected-.-
We went for a little bit of kayaking and then we camped at a totally run down campsite. We cooked our self a dinner using nautral fire with the very warming and welcoming mosquitoes.

Day 3:We did a lot of trekking and walking with a heavy bag pack, felt like lifting 20kg...alot of ppl cant take it or was on the verge of dying...We then took a dip at a frest water quarry and then camped out on the beach. At night we planned for the big thing, a 16km KAYAKING trip that was to last a little more that 10 hours.

Day 4: OMG the kayak trip ended very early. About 3 hours before expected time. we were so dam happy! i dun want to tell the details bout the trip cause theres a lot of things that happened!
lazy type sia.

Day 5: The last and the saddest day. good bye to everyone and everything.T.T